I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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