bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
