you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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