Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Randomize
