My first STD was from a foam party
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
