Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
