YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
