Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
