I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
