I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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