I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
