R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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