If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
