Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my sisters under your porch take her home
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
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we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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