Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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