I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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