You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
