Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
