Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
