His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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