Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
