he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
