Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
