Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
