OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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