I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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