We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
COCAINE IS GR8
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