This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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