We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
