apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
