I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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