Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
