i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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