Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
