how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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