bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize