drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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