Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
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I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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