Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
