Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize