After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
