Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
