At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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