it was like eating out sand paper
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
