Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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