ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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