I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
