ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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