you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
