Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
