hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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