Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
