You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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