quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i think i just lost a toe
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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