one might say we're banned from that church
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
