It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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