WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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