thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
