i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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