don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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