I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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