I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
